


Ineffable... parents

by snapefan520



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Gender Switching, M/M, Mpreg... sort of, ineffable husbands, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 07:14:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20596814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapefan520/pseuds/snapefan520
Summary: Life had been almost perfect for Aziraphale and Crowley since the almost-Apocalypse.  Their respective sides had pretty much ignored them after the body swap incident, and life had gone on.  Aziraphale still thoroughly enjoyed running his book shop, and Crowley continued doing... whatever it was that Crowley did.  They had, however, found out that they had truly been missing out on one particular human experience the past six thousand years.  Relationships.  Specifically, sex.  Which is the cause of the current chaos they are experiencing.  (Also known as 'there can be side effects from sexual experimentation'.)





	Ineffable... parents

Life had been almost perfect for Aziraphale and Crowley since the almost-Apocalypse. Their respective sides had pretty much ignored them after the body swap incident, and life had gone on. Aziaraphale still thoroughly enjoyed running his book shop, and Crowley continued doing... whatever it was that Crowley did. They had, however, found out that they had truly been missing out on one particular human experience the past six thousand years.

Relationships.

Specifically, sex.

Which is the cause of the current chaos they are experiencing.

_Four years earlier..._

"Zira, do you remember that excellent bit of naughtiness we had a few months ago?"

"Which bit, Crowley? Everything is naughty with you." Bedroom sex, kitchen sex, oral sex... and with that forked tongue, Crowley gave the most mind-blowing, amazing blow...

Aziraphale blushed as his mind thought back to all the naughtiness they had experienced. Crowley was quite inventive in the bedroom.

"Right." Crowley scratched at the back of his neck, his discomfort was obvious. "The gender switching bit. Which, by the way, was excellent, being a woman and all. The female orgasm...," he trailed off, lost in thought. "But we didn't think it through."

"But it was your idea, Crowley." Aziraphale blew dust off a tome, then continued re-shelving books.

"Well... I think I'm pregnant."

It was total silence for ten minutes except for the sound of Aziraphale's book hitting the ground.

"Are you sure? I didn't think we," Aziraphale motioned back and forth between the two of them, "we're capable of... of... procreating. I mean, I know our corporeal forms are both human, but I didn't think we could do that!"

"Positive." Crowley looked disinterested, but Aziraphale knew him well enough to know it was just an act. "The little bugger kicked me."

"Kicked..." Aziraphale looked away, lost in his thoughts.

"I mean, I could just magic it away. Just like I magicked the female bits to begin with, but I thought maybe you... we... err...". Crowley ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I'd at least tell you before I did that."

"We could give it a go," Aziraphale smiled, "You know, try out this parenting-thing. It can't be too hard as often as the humans do it."

"True," Crowley nodded in agreement.

_Present day... _

The yelling was getting louder, and closer.

And the angry woman wasn't alone. She was dragging a quite sullen-looking small child behind her. He was about the same size as...

"Alice, come here, dear." Aziraphale did not have a good feeling about this. Not in the least bit.

The three year old girl, with the most beautiful light ginger hair, came running from the sandbox. She stopped right as she reached Aziraphale, with a smile that mirrored his own.

"Your child took George's toy. I want her to give it back." The angry woman put her hands on her hips.

Aziraphale crouched down to Alice's level, "Is this true, Alice?"

She batted her beautiful green eyes, and replied with a sincere, "No, papa." She even showed her hands to show that she hadn't taken it.

"I believe you owe my daughter an apology."

The woman sputtered, and stared at her son, then back at Alice once again.

"But... she... I saw." She got more flustered by the moment. She offered a quiet, "My apologies," before quickly dragging her son out of the park.

Crowley had watched all this happen in a different section of the park, the smirk growing bigger as he caught up with Aziraphale and Alice.

Alice turned around and smiled at her father. Her eyes briefly becoming reptile-like, as a small car appeared in her hand.

Crowley's smirk turned into a full blown smile as he grabbed his daughter's free hand.

"That's my girl."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to 'my people' for being a soundboard. You know who you are. Special thanks to Alexandra for helping me with a perfect name for Alice.
> 
> This wasn't beta'd, so please be kind. I wanted to get it up quickly for everyone's enjoyment (and before my muse crawled back into her hiding place.)


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